17.12.2004
Lost in the desert
Posted by danielle
We had only just become accustomed to the likes of cows and, more recently, elephants walking down the busy streets, but the desert state of Rajasthan threw in a new flavour to the mix. With their long lashes, ultra proud poise, and dainty strides, there is only one word which accurately describes these creatures. Transvestites!
We couldn’t visit Rajasthan without embarking on a camel safari, and what better a place than Bikaner to get lost in the Indian desert. Our safari consisted of three English, two Aussies, eight Indians and seven, er... trannies. A multi-mammal, multi-national stampede heading into the desert for three days.
Ever entered a virtual-bull-bucking competition? You know the sort - you’re required to remain on the wild machine for a mere two minutes in order to win 1K. Well although a slightly exaggerated example, riding a camel is almost in the same league. To start with, a step ladder is almost required before your ride begins (especially for the likes of me). When your camel decides he’s ready to get going, the law of gravity is tested as you’re thrown in a back-forward-back motion while holding on for dear life. I was slightly concerned at the prospect of getting altitude sickness from up there, but luckily our treks in the Himalayas had prepared us.
Not only was it necessary to acclimatize, but we were required to participate in the unavoidable bum-workout regime. I don’t know if I like this idea as our glutius-maximus workout could impact our beautimus-maximus journey.
It wasn’t just our butts which got a great workout though, our digestive system worked over time as well. After a long morning of doing, well, sweet-f-all, we’d climb off our camels only to be led to our Rajasthani dining table - sitting on a carpet of golden sand and sheltered by a desert tree. “Cold beer, soft drink or mineral water anyone?” we were asked. We’d indulge in constant chatter around the table while our personal chef, six camel men and one guide, would prepare our fresh feast. And a feast it certainly was – chapathis, dhal, vegetable curry, coconut rice, salad and baked potatoes were prepared and devoured. So much beautiful food and such little will power to resist the temptation of seconds and thirds at each sitting. A hard life it certainly was. After over-indulging, we’d retire to the ‘chill-out’ area where siestas were appreciated and our intestines were getting the Jane Fonda workout.
For the most part, the landscape remained the same – expansive, barren, loads of small shrubs, a few villages and of course loads of sand. When we’d pass through a village, our enthusiasm was reciprocated *insert-mighty-big-number-here* fold. Whole villages of kids would run hundreds of meters just to wave and greet us – "ta ta". They’d all line up with their huge pearly white smiles and go-go hands waving. You couldn’t help but wave and re-re-re-repeat "ta ta" to every single child along the way... and considering their parents have a lot of spare time on their hands, you can only imagine how many kids there were!
Speaking of increasing the population, our camels had a rather unusual behavioural trait. Gargalling from deep in the throat, frothing at the mouth then blowing a balloon-like shape out of their mouth. Yes, very strange - especially after the knowledge that this gesture is in fact one of an ultra horny camel. You guessed it, this was peak mating season. A comment was casually made regarding how unfortunate it would be if our camel acted on his natural urges while we were high in the sky. A collective chuckle lingered in the air, while we all contemplated, with serious concern, the reality of such an action taking place.
The safari kept on reaffirming how strange these creatures really are. Another quality which we found interesting was their ability to anticipate the future. Our camels would wee and wee and keep on weeing when they knew there was a water hole close by. A monsoon would arise out of the desert air and a down poor would hydrate the shrubs below. It became such a comical event, that we’d all sit with anticipation for who’s camel would ‘rain’ the longest. I must have really been wearing my camel out, because it won most times!
Our favourite form of entertainment, however, was sitting back with a cup of chai while conversing about everything and nothing. While we were contently sipping away, our camel men would set up camp next to the shelter of a sand dune. Tents were erected, camels were fed, veges were chopped and fire wood was collected. Yet another feast was consumed, this time retiring to the bonfire to warm the extremities and converse in broken English/Rajasthani with the camel men.
The entertainment continued with an open air cinema screening, compliments of Really Universal Pictures. It was a wonderful picture of galaxies, constellations, planets and who know what else. To sleep in the cold open air under a screen of twinkling lights was a truly magical experience. Our cinema even had surround sound which projected the constant sound of camels: farting, bellowing, and chomping away at their nightly feast. Come dawn, we woke to a hint of the new day rising, ever so slowly. Rising first with the early morning blues, then developing into a brilliant orange.
Our days would always start on a positive note. After watching an amazing sunrise, our guide would bring us a hot chai while we were still blissfully lying in bed. After a few morning stretches alongside the camels, we would eat brekky at one of Bikaneers most scenic restaurants, once again, listening to the constant tunes of camels. With the sand so yellow, the sky so blue and the camels so spectacular, what better place to eat breakfast.
So after three days of over-indulging and being indulged, we were content to end our Jane Fonda workout. Some of us walked a little stiff for a couple of days, but hey, it’s all part of the package!
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